Virtual Affairs
VIRTUAL AFFAIRS
Is in-game flirting and animated sex just a bit of harmless fun? Or is a virtual affair no different from a real-life one? With the growth in popularity of websites that offer virtual ‘lives’ - such as Second Life - more and more’ abandoned’ partners are experiencing all-too-real jealousy and distress as their partners spend more and more time with virtual partners.
What's the Attraction?
For so many people, the arms-length nature of in-game relationships is what seems to separate harmless play from genuine infidelity.
Of course it’s tempting to try to escape the mundane, depressing aspects of everyday life. Your virtual partner will never see your cottage-cheese thighs.
You won’t argue about whose turn it is to take the rubbish out. You’re free to idealise yourself and him. He’s Romeo, you’re Juliet. Perfect! And if shared intimacies and virtual sex never translate into an actual meet up or real-life sex, then surely it can’t be considered actual infidelity?
Emotional Infidelity
It's true that some people use virtual sex as simply a ‘safe’ way to experiment, as more or less an interactive form of masturbation.
What seems more worrying, however, is the numbers of people who participate in in-game romances because they’re seeking something that’s lacking in their real-life relationship.
However, the emotions in an online affair can be just as real as anywhere else. You may start to reveal intimate details about yourself that you may not even share with your spouse. You may develop strong feelings for that person, at the cost of distancing yourself from your "real" relationships.
Says P. Shavaun Scott, a marriage and family therapist from California:
“If people are getting their needs for love, attention, intimacy, companionship and sex from somewhere else, I think it’s cheating,” she says. “Especially if they’re keeping their relationship a secret from their real-life partner.”
Have YOUR Say
Useful Sites
Relate offers advice, relationship counselling, sex therapy, workshops, mediation, consultations and support face-to-face, by phone and through their website. Click here to visit.
The BBC website offers excellent advice on all aspects of managing your relationship. Click here to visit
Do your or your partner have a 'virtual' other life? How does it affect your relationship? Leave a comment below.....
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