Does Text-flirting Cause Affairs?
The Joy of Text - is SMS Contributing to Extra-Marital Affairs?
With the credit crunch looming over us as we tighten our belts, what better way to get the feel-good factor than to receive or send a text? Over 100 million texts are sent every day in Britain with peak times being Friday and Saturday nights. This can only mean one thing - text flirting!
We can scarcely imagine lives without our mobiles and text messages have become an integral part of our everyday communication. But is the short messaging service, or SMS, paving the way for us to manoeuvre around deep-rooted barriers to extra-marital mingling?
The Adrenalin Rush
There are few of us who would think that sending a few texts would lead to an eventual affair. Exchanges may well start off entirely innocently and it may be hard to envisage the potential damage those 'harmless', flirtatious texts might eventually cause.
However, text flirters may not bank on the increasing rush of adrenaline and excitement they begin to feel when the texts bleep in.
Before they know it they may well start to feel deflated when there are significant gaps between texts. Many text addicts take their mobiles everywhere and become resentful of any expectation to turn them off. Some even find they start to sleep late or badly because they're subconsciously waiting for that all-important text to give them a lift.
Not What They Seem
Not What They Seem
It’s important to think about the effect the texts you send might have on the recipients' lives. Being necessarily brief and often written in abbreviations, texts can be easily be misinterpreted. A lot depends on the state of mind of the person receiving the text. They may have relationship problems you know nothing about. They may be bored or lonely. They may read more into your ‘innocent’ words than you think.
No Face-to-Face Contact
No Face-to-Face Contact
Texting is such a flexible flirting medium, with no embarrassing face-to-face contact that's it's all too easy to get carried away. People who might find it inconcievable to utter the words ‘I Love You’ in person may find it far easier to do so in a text.
'Innocent' text flirting can give you something to look forward to. Somebody, somewhere likes you for yourself, not for being a mother, father, husband or wife. An arms-length text-relationship can seem so innocent, so contained and so perfect. You don’t have to deal with bad moods, negotiate who's turn it is to take out the bins or argue about how you’ll pay the mortgage.
Is it Really so Innocent?
When we receive or send that first flirtatious text it's easier not to dwell on what it could lead to. We’re not embarking on a texting ‘relationship’ with someone, we’re just having a bit of harmless fun and giving one another a little bit of the ‘feel good’ factor. Aren’t we?
But text flirting, once discovered, can cause a significant loss of trust that may take a long time to heal. Sometimes it can cause sufficient long term damage that relationships may break up.
Deal with the Source
Says relationship counsellor Sally Price 'Although its addictive to get that buzz from ‘text sex’ it’s better to deal with the real situation we have at home before we embark on something that could end in hurt and upset for all those involved'
So if you get a kick out of 'text sex' maybe it's time to stop before it causes relationship chaos. How to stop? Perhaps not by text!
Useful Sites
Relate offers advice, relationship counselling, sex therapy, workshops, mediation, consultations and support face-to-face, by phone and through their website.
Click here to visit.
The BBC website offers excellent advice on all aspects of managing your relationship.
Click here to visit
Have YOU had a relationship by text or had your relationship damaged by text flirting? Leave a comment below...
Excellent article, it's amazing how many distractions can be found to stop you addressing the core issues affecting your current relationship - and it can even get as far as thinking about divorce/separation before individuals or couples wake up to what has really been going on.
I'm The Divorce Coach and in the work I do, one of the most consistent problems is that women are not feeling loved, respected or supported. Together we find out what it is that makes them feel like that, address the core issues (which are only highlighted by the symptoms) so's the client gets what she (or he and I wish there were more of them!) wants and needs. My adage - No more putting up with!
There's a free Personal Relationship Audit on the site which you can download, and my Ebook - 7 Steps to Stress Less Relationships. These will both give you a great head start to finding out what's really going on. I'm always at the end of a phone for a quick chat and there's a September offer of one month's coaching (2 sessions) for £100. You can even contact me through the private messaging service of this site.
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