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How to Flirt

 

HOW TO FLIRT
 
Tongue-tied and lost for words when you encounter that fabulous man?  Don’t worry – you can telegraph your feelings and flirt outrageously without even saying a word!  
 
Body Language
 
Your body speaks a language all of its own. Without realising it, how you sit, what you do with your hands, your legs, even your basic posture reveals volumes about you - namely what you're feeling and what you might be thinking.
 
OK you say, that’s all very well, but your average bloke will hardly be able to interpret any of that. That’s where you’re wrong. Imperceptive as they can be at times, men can be extraordinarily astute when it comes to interpreting a woman's body language – particularly when it relates to whether she might be turned on!  Any reasonably intuitive guy you're flirting with will learn a lot about you simply by studying your movements. And if he’s read the GQ masterclass series chances are he’ll be aware of every nuance in the body language dictionary!
 
Use It To Your Advantage
 
The thing about body language is you want to be completely in control of it. You need to be aware of what messages you're sending. That way you’ll avoid telegraphing certain information you're not ready to give away! If you transmit only the messages you want him to receive that’ll give you the upper hand in this all-too-subtle dialogue!
 
Body Language Basics
 
The most common body language gestures that reveal at least minimal interest are hair twirling, hair tossing and leg crossing. When a woman tosses her hair, it comes across as a nervous gesture. What it tells the man is, he's making her a bit nervous. And to his mind, if she's nervous, she must be interested!
 
On the other hand, hair tossing, like leg crossing, is also a preening gesture. It's a way of calling attention to a gorgeous, glossy mane (very sexy) or a terrific pair of legs (ditto, also very sexy!). But there are many other elemental gestures and basic postures that send a powerful subliminal message to the opposite sex, all of which can be used to fabulous effect.  Get ready to flirt…..
  
Eye Contact
 
Usually the first way two people connect is by looking into each other's eyes. Before either of you speaks a single word, the eyes have already telegraphed messages. Messages can range from frank curiosity, through cool assessment to shy interest. When you look deeply into a guy's eyes, he thinks you're telling him he's the most fascinating person in the room. Keep your eyes firmly locked on his and you're saying is that as far as you're concerned, he's the only person in the room!
 
Direct, full frontal eye contact can be risky, however. It can come across as downright brazen to men who feel threatened by assertive behaviour by women. But, then again, if you're simply not the bashful maiden type throw him the full frankness of your gaze. Think of it as a form of natural selection. If he’s freaked out by your open gaze chances are he’s not the man for you!
  
Arm Crossing
 
When a woman crosses her arms over her chest, it can be received in a number of ways:
  
> It can telegraph the message that she's a vulnerable female creature, an innocent who feels the need to protect herself!  Ooh er!
 
> Crossing your arms over your chest can be a sneaky way of drawing attention to your breasts, especially if there’s some uplifting going on!
 
>On the negative side, arm crossing is also a way of telling a guy that you don't like him at all and that your fondest wish at the moment is that he'll go away.
  
Leaning Toward Him
 
The most common form of this is leaning forward when you're sitting across from him. This gesture shows interest and acceptance. In his mind it means you just think he's the most fascinating creature on the face of the earth!
 
But don’t go overboard with the lean. You want to keep him guessing at least a little bit. Men do love to chase! And if you catch yourself practically falling into his lap, take a deep breath, sit back in your seat and rest your hands in your lap for a few minutes -- at least until you cool off.
 
If you find yourself leaning away from him, you're telling him you don’t like him at all. (Or is it that you're working overtime to not let him know you're all hot and bothered?)
 
Leg Crossing
 
Leg crossing can be interpreted as a nervous or provocative gesture.
 
> Lots of people unconsciously cross and uncross their legs when they're anxious. If you're doing this, the man opposite may think he's "getting" to you.
 
>If you're deliberately crossing your legs to show off your sexy pins, or deliberately pointing your top leg in his direction, he may think it means you like him a lot. If you can't stop crossing your legs and you're virtually twitching in your seat, he may well twig that  you're burning hot for him. In this case he has the upper hand. Fine if you want that, but if you’d prefer to play it cool, get up, take a walk and take some time out!
 
Hair Twirling
 
Toying with your hair is a sure sign of nervousness. If you find yourself doing this he’ll think you’re nervous and therefore potentially interested.
 
Hair twirling can also be a playful gesture. Women with long hair tend to play with their hair. Hair is sexy and twirling and tossing it draws a man's eye to it.
 
But, again, don’t overdo it. Many guys say it really bugs them when women keep playing with their hair!
  
Lip Licking
 
This is purely physiological. When we're aroused and excited, our mouths get dry. If you find yourself licking your lips a lot in the company of a new man, it means that something about him is really getting to you. Watch out!
 
Lip licking clearly conveys the message that you're interested in a man. It is a very sexy, and overt, type of body language -- that is, if it is done correctly. What we are talking about here is a slow, sultry swipe along your lips with the tip of your tongue.
 
Just remember to use this one with caution. Your Flirt Object may well think you’re telling him you want to take him to bed. This one’s a real action-getter.
 
Mirroring
 
This is what separates a good flirt from a truly great flirt: nothing will bond you more effectively than mirroring someone's behaviour. This simply means you do whatever it is they do. If they lean forward to tell you something intimate, you lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, you pause then follow suit.
 
The theory behind mirroring is that we like people who are like us. If someone is doing what we're doing, we feel they're on the same level as us and in the same mood as we are.
 
There are two no-go areas with this one, though. Firstly, only mirror positive body language; second, capture the spirit rather than mimicking them. As a general rule, wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures.
 
The Eyebrow Flash
 
When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they are similarly attracted, they raise their eyebrows in return. Never noticed? It's not surprising since the whole thing lasts only about a fifth of a second!
 
The trick is to watch for it when you meet someone you fancy. Better still, tell them you're interested on a subconscious level by prolonging your eyebrow flash for up to one second - deliberately raise them while catching their eye for full impact
 
Slight Exposure of Neck or Wrists
 
A woman can make a man desire her more by exposing the skin of her neck. The same thing goes when a woman exposes the thin skin on her wrist. Both actions appeal to men saying, “I want to show you more.”
 
Useful Books and Sites
 
The BBC website has some excellent information on body language and flirting.  Click here to visit
 
Recommended Book:  'Flirting 101: How to Charm Your Way to Love, Friendship and Success'.  by Andrew Bryant.  Click here for details
 

 
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