Get Your Relationship Back on Track
GET YOUR RELATIONSHIP BACK ON TRACK We’ve all winced at couples in restaurants who look like they’d rather be anywhere else than with one another.
Had a few dates like that yourself? Ever feel that and your partner are living parallel lives? If so, how do you get your relationship back on track and rediscover the passion of the early days?
Accept You Won’t Always Be Right
It’s never easy to accept but there are occasions when we all get things wrong or make mistakes. It’s too easy to just get defensive when admitting youre in the wrong could so easily reduce arguments and prevent resentment. Admitting your own mistakes should instantly reduce the number of arguments in your house.
Learn From Your Mistakes
Again, everyone makes mistakes. However, it’s how we respond, how we change and what we learn from the mistakes that ultimately decides how well we’ll get on in life and with our partners.
Quality Not Quantity
We all lead such busy lives and it’s tempting to believe that not spending enough time with partners leads inevitably to tension. This can be the case but often it’s the quality of time spent that’s important not the quantity. No matter how busy you are, if you can make memorable time with your partner it'll have positive impact on your relationship.
Be A Friend to One Another
When you’re both busy, under stress, bickering about whose turn it is to take the rubbish out and and resentful of their lack of help and support it’s easy to forget that your partner is actually a friend. Sure you love him but there may be times when you wonder whether you like him! When under pressure, focus on why you became friends and what it is you both like about each other.Be Honest
Lies can quickly spiral out of control. Even well intentioned lies can come back to haunt you so try to be as honest as you can. Your partner knows you well and may be quick to pick up on the possibility of being lied to. If you are in trouble either financially or at work talk to your partner and be open about your situation. Give your partner the opportunity to help you. Working through problems together can bring you a great deal closer.
Surprises can Be Good
Relationships and marriages can often fall apart because one partner feels the relationship has gone stale. It’s tempting to take one another for granted when there's so much else to attend to but it’s surprisingly easy to introduce the novel into a long term relationship. Once in a while be spontaneous surprise your partner! Whether it’s an unexpected gift or doing something unexpected. Even something simple like doing a chore you’d normally ignore.
Guarding the Green-Eyed Monster
Jealousy can be a difficult emotion to control and to hide. In an ideal world we wouldn’t succumb to jealousy but we all do. Don’t let it ruin a relationship. If your jealousy prevents your other half from doing something they want to do they may well resent it, particularly if your jealous fears are misplaced or irrational.
Think Like a Team!
You’re in a relationship to support and work together. When the going gets tough, however, it may feel more like you’re in constant competition and out to belittle one another. To strengthen the supportive bonds try to do things together that rely on teamwork. Before you start, make a pledge that you'll resist arguing and bickering though! Enjoy working together and savour the way each of you relies on the other. Try to carry this feeling over into your day to day life.
Share House and Child Responsibilities
One of the greatest areas of problems in a relationship is when there is a marked discrepancy between what should be a shared workload. Don’t just simmer. Resolve to talk it through. Make a list of the tasks that need done and agree a rota if necessary.
Trust Your Partner
Perhaps you think that’s an easy thing to say but a hard thing to do. You may well have been let down in the past but that doesn’t mean you will again in the future. Give your partner a chance and place your trust in him.
Listen to Your Partner
We ‘hear’ people all day long but do we really listen to them? Really pay attention when your partner talks to you. Listen to what they have to say, make eye contact and – above all – don’t interrupt them! If you get a text message or a phone call and you can ignore it, do. Let your partner know s/he is the sole focus of your attention.
Forgive
If you can manage it, try to accept and let past misdemeanours go. Concentrate only on the future. Giving someone a genuine second chance can be the greatest gift of all!
Relationship Counselling Support in Edinburgh
If you’re experiencing relationship problems why not consider counselling? A good counsellor can help you change and adjust to your current social situation by empowering you to respond differently to stressful situations whether at work or at home. S/he can encourage you to make changes in your behaviour and how you respond to others. Resolving stress can lead to the resolution of problems and a healthier life. Counselling is usually of limited duration of between 6 to 20 sessions.
Useful Books and Sites
Power of Unconditional Love, The: 21 Guidelines for Beginning, Improving and Changing Your Most Meaningful Relationships 
Relate offers advice, relationship counselling, sex therapy, workshops, mediation, consultations and support face-to-face, by phone and through their website. Click here for details
Do YOU have any advice for getting your relationship back on track? Why not share it with others? Post a quick comment below....
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