How to Shower - A Hilariously Absurd Look at Gender Differences

HOW TO SHOWER - A Hilariously Absurd Look at Gender Differences

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN


Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.  If you see your partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to  do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.


Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.  Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner..

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.

Wash entire body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.  Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you
see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake your 'bits' at her making the  'woo-woo'
sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your bits and scratch your bottom...

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Break wind and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your hair.  Make a Shampoo Mohican

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.

Admire the size of your bits in the mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return
to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake bits at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.
 
WE KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT SO RINGS TRUE!!!!!!