You know you've hit 50 when...

So you've reach the dreaded 50.  What fun.  Now you're allowed to be a grumpy old woman and you've got  Madonna as a role model. Do you recognise yourself in any of these?

You know the botanical plant names in latin of the plants in your garden

You've started getting a lot of spam about viagra, weight loss, firming body parts,or magic weight loss/fat burning while-you-sleep pills.

All of a sudden, Tony Blair is not 50, he's only 50.

You start to worry about your parents' health.

Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus, you tut at schoolchildren whose diction is poor.

You find yourself saying "Is it cold in here or is it just me?"

You ask a teenager “who the hell is Hannah Montana?”

You start going to more funerals than weddings.

You start hanging round with sixty year olds so you can feel like the young one of the group.

You start believing the phrase ‘you’re only as old as you feel’ and you still feel 25 so bollocks to everyone! 

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