Edinburgh Mums Confess....

Edinburgh mums confess, alpha mums, yummy mummies, confessions of bad mothers

Since the writer Ayelet Waldman caused an uproar in the US by revealing that she loves her husband more than she loves her children, guilty women everywhere have been breathing a sigh of relief and confessing that they’re not the perfect mothers society demands they aspire to be. 

If your sick of feeling under pressure to look like a celeb, keep ultra-fit, produce perfect kids, have a home like Laurence Llewllyn Bowen and hold down a fabulous job, you'll love this selection of Edinburgh mums who’re confessing their worst maternal crimes.  And they’re not ashamed!




'When my 11lb bruiser of a son was born after a traumatic birth I thought I’d never seen anything so ugly.   This was my first child and I’d dreamed of a delicate little 7lb daughter.   I’d bought all these beautiful little Victorian dresses and bonnets from antique shops which were no use at all.  It  took me months to stop cringeing when other mums looked in the pram’.  Cathy McP,  Ratho.

‘I used to feel sick when I got those Round Robin emails at Christmas telling me how all my friends’ and ex colleagues’ kids had got awards for this and were president of that.  I wondered why my kids weren’t gifted and didn’t get awards.  Not that I don’t love them but I do admit to having been fiercely jealous’.   Abi F, Polmont

'It was my turn to have my friend’s kids round and I carefully laid out paints, number kits, handicrafts…you name it.  But when my friend left I sneakily put on a video for the kids, got out my laptop and trawled old boyfriends on Friends Reunited.  You won’t believe how many I found!’ Maddy L,  Blackhall.

I approached child-rearing with the same dedication I’ve approached every task.  But no matter how hard I tried, this was one job I just couldn’t excel at.  The kids were totally unpredictable, endlessly demanding and they wouldn’t submit to my schedules.  I hated the fact that for once I wasn’t top of the class.  And I hated that they weren’t the least bit grateful for all my efforts’.  Lisa S ,  South Queensferry.

'I so looked forward to my daughter and only child leaving for university.  I was thoroughly sick of the mess, the rows, the endless hysterical confrontations.  I had four years of empty-nest bliss and then she announced that she was coming home.   If I’m honest, my heart sank.  My husband was over the moon to have her back and I was secretly furious at him for not liking it better just the two of us’.  Shari O, Musselburgh.

‘My best pal Lucy and I used to go on picnics in Holyrood Park with our kids and we’d sneak vodka into our orange juice and lie back in the sun while the kids pulled each others’ hair out.  Hey - they survived!’.   Maria E, Ravelston

‘I can’t believe I’m actually admitting  this.  But my friend Charlotte has this goody-two shoes daughter Amy who’s always been absolutely bloody brilliant at everything.  And so utterly charming as well.  At 16 for some reason she went right off the rails, gave up school and ended up pregnant.   I'm afraid to say I wasn’t anything like as sorry as I should have been’.   Debs T, Leith


‘I used to routinely compete with my kids for my husband’s attention.  OK, I had them young, but that's probably no excuse. Once, when I was particularly jealous, it was even on the tip of my tongue to ask him if he loved me more than them.  After all – I was there first!’   Vira B,  Marchmont

Have YOUR Say

Go on – join in and confess your secret maternal crimes!  Leave a comment below.