Kids Do Religion

funny quotes from children on religion, funny kids quotes on church

Here’s a hil-arious selection of quotes from kiddies as they grapple with one of the thorniest questions in life ie RELIGION!


10 year old Sophie was writing a school assignment on what she thought would happen when she died.  She wrote:
‘When I die, I will go to Coventry.  Coventry is a waiting room for heaven’.




7 year-old Alan was watching his dad, a minister, write a sermon.
 "How do you know what to put in it?" he asked.
 ‘God tells me." 
"So why do you keep crossing things out then?"



Ms.  Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories.  She was puzzled by 9 year old Kyle's picture, which showed four people on a plane. She asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The Flight to Egypt ," was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms.  Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus.  But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"


6 year old Jessica was sitting on grandad's lap as he read her a story. From time to time she’d reach up and touch his wrinkled cheek. She frowned and then stroked her own cheek.  Eventually, she said:
"Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes honey.  God made you just a little while ago."
Said Jessica "God's getting better at it then, isn't he?"



Ms Terri, the Sunday School teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, be honest.  Do you say your prayers before eating?"
"No," little Johnny replies, I don't have to.  My mum’s a good cook."



12 year-old Eddie was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin Harry asked him, "So how many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," Eddie immediately replied.  Harry was impressed.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," said Eddie. "All you do is add it up.  Like the minister said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."



8 year-old Sally was getting restless in church as the minister’s sermon dragged on and on and on. Finally, Sally leaned over to her mum and whispered, "If we give him the money now, d’you think he’ll let us go?"
 

Have YOUR Say

Do YOU have any hilarious quotes from youngsters on religion (or any other subject!)?   Leave a comment below.